Fog on the Horizon

We’ve all had headaches, some minor, some major, some that wreck your day and some that are self induced through over indulgence. The one thing they have in common is that they seem to take you just off your mark just a bit, for example if your a ball player you swing the bat just a little behind everything is delayed by just enough for you to notice but for those around you they may or may not depending on the severity.

Well the chemo seems to do something similar, the only way I can describe it is that whatever Im doing short of pushing myself is all I want to do, sitting in my chair thats fine, laying in bed fine too, no need to change so why bother. Its a game between my mind and body, this drug is running interference between the two. Eating is a chore just forcing the food down my brain knows its necessary buy body could not be bothered.

Most common tasks are done strictly from muscle memory, bathing, dressing, driving etc. I think that new task that I undertook would take some time to “get”. Luckily I lead a pretty routine life, just like the title says “fog on the horizon” I know what I have to do, my perception of things is dimmed just enough that I slow down and have to think sometimes about the what where and why of the task at hand. Its a weird feeling its as if part of my self-awareness has been taken or overshadowed. I hope this is some in site into how things are with me at least in my head. Im over half finished with radiation and one more chemo on the 9th. Then I wait 2 months from last radiation to get scanned again.

Thanks to all of you that are reading all 5 of you.

Mike

Staying the Course