Stay the Course

Ive been struggling with this for awhile; as I talk to friends and family I get praise about how great and strong I am,the exact words escape me.  I was taken aback at first and then finally realized that I should say something, the only words I could come up with are “thank you”.  But it happens all the time and Im humbled by the words but still it bothers me not in a bad way but the thought of it isnt quickly dismissed.

The closest thing I can compare it to is an artist, lets say a piano player.  Maybe youre good at that because of hard work, practice, influenced at a young age, total immersion or all the above.  Then you go on stage and play and friends, family and fans heap praise upon you, but thank you is all you can say.

I guess as with anything you reap what you sow, most days I get up go to therapy, the gym constanlty massage my face, I wear riduculous head gear at night and tape on my face. I have speech exercises that I do but not enough and Im eating better.

Its hard work, exausting work.  All my Dr’s, Nurses and therapists say Im a great patient, its a compliment but I can think of many other things at which to be great.  Its all high praise and as I said before Im humbled by it and often left speechless.  Since Ive been sick Ive heard many stories about people giving up, I guess Im not wired that way, I look at it as a task that must be done and Im the one.  I remember when my son was born I was there as was my father, I asked him where he was when I was born he answered as if there was no other answer “at work”.

Fighting Cancer is a task given to one person, they must lead the way, make tough and easy decisions, change their lives to fit the new mold but there is one phrase that sums it all up.

Stay the Course.

I will leave you with this one last thought, in the movie Saving Private Ryan Tom Hank’s character is mortally wounded, he looks up at Private Ryan and says two words “earn this”.